Happy 2015!!

Hi,

I wanted to wish everyone a happy 2015!

Here’s a (hopefully) humorous look at 2014 and two easy ways be happier and to stay with us in 2015.

In 2014 I decided I could/should eat better and I did some investigating on the internet.  I got a very nice juicer.  Then I felt bad I was wasting the pulp so I got a food dehydrator to make healthy (but totally inedible) crackers from the juice pulp.  I have given away the dehydrator.  Then I got a very nice blender so I’d be drinking the pulp with the juice.

Then I read that my healthy Smoothies could be made even healthier by the addition of Superfoods like Spirulina (algae), Bee Pollen, Kale, Chlorella, Blueberries, Turmeric, Hemp Hearts, Barley, Wheat Grass, Burdock Root, Acai Powder, Bananas, nut milk, Wheat Germ, Goji Berries, ground Flax seeds, Chia seeds, raw Pumpkin seeds, Almonds, raw Sunflower seeds, and sweeteners like raw honey and Agave Syrup.  I made meals with brown rice, yellow rice, black rice, and red rice.

I honestly did feel better, healthier, and somehow lighter on my scale (but especially my checking account balance) while eating and drinking these healthy foods.

I learned there’s arsenic in rice so there are just two healthy foods left; Kale and Turmeric.  I now make juice from Kale and add some Turmeric.  I make Kale Smoothies with Turmeric.  I also pull the nasty stems from Kale leaves, massage the torn leaves with olive oil, put them on a baking sheet with a little Turmeric sprinkled on and bake them until they (sadly) resemble a potato chip.  If you’re going to have chicken wings, real snacks like Cheese Doodles and chips, and alcohol, would you do me a favor and invite me over?

I have two very simple ways for the entire world to have a safer and happier 2015.  Honest.

Ready?

1) STAY HOME MORE!  It’s a crazy place out there and it will try to harm you.  I guarantee it.  Stop running all over the place like a bunch of crazy people on Crystal Meth.  Stop it!!

2) SLEEP MORE!  I’ve always known the world would be a nicer place if the humans that occupy it would just sleep more.  Sleep longer at night, take naps; you really can’t be out causing all this trouble when you’re asleep, can you?